Title: The House that Jack Built (2018) Director: Lars Von Trier The world has a very morbid curiosity with serial killers. This can often border on voyeurism; hours and hours of consuming endless documentaries detailing heinous crimes that are enough to prevent you from all forms of social interaction, ever. We occasionally enhance this experience … Continue reading The House that no one asked for; our modern obsession with killers
Sometimes remakes are better
*many spoilers* Pet Sematary (2019) Dir: Kevin Kolsch, Dennis Widmyer Everyone's really pissed about this remake. And under usual circumstances, I would be too. I'm normally a bit of a purist, and utterly detest remakes based on their sheer futility. Does the world even need 10 versions of "A star is born"? No-one knows the … Continue reading Sometimes remakes are better
Cannibals and Keanu Reeves
The Bad Batch (2016) Dir: Ana Lily Amirpour Let's start with the positives. I'm feeling lots of love and harmony lately, and I've decided that I'm gonna try REALLY REALLY hard to see the good in things. Ironically I had this epiphany just before i watched this film so......sucks for me. So pros.... This film … Continue reading Cannibals and Keanu Reeves
CAMPING; part two
The Ritual 2017 Dir: David Bruckner Perhaps i'm a little biased, but Brits are definitely making the best horror movies at the minute. Maybe not the best ever, (after extensive scientific research I've concluded that Koreans make the best ever), but we are getting considerably better. More importantly directors have stopped using stupid british stereotypes and taking the … Continue reading CAMPING; part two
Camping
The idea of a sequel pains me. With the exception of The Godfather and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, I really don't have an overwhelming desire to watch a sequel. Ever. Look at what happened to Paranormal Activities. What started as an incredible film (a film, 1 film, singular), turned into a barrage of annoying … Continue reading Camping
The darkest shade of neon
The Neon Demon (2016) Dir: Nicholas Refn If you were to see this on Netflix, without knowing anything about it, and toyed with the idea of watching it because the visual was cool, and the bloke who did Drive directed it, then don't watch it. Really, don't. I'm not even really sure if Netflix is the … Continue reading The darkest shade of neon
Midnight Massacre
The Invitation 2016 Dir: Karyn Kusama *SPOILERS AHEAD* We've all been there. That awkward scenario when an ex invites you to a dinner party; you don't wanna go because that's the house you used to live in, also because you think your former spouse is now in a cult, and you have a sneeking suspicion … Continue reading Midnight Massacre
The artist formerly known as Prairie
The OA Creators: Zal Batmanglij, Brit Marling Like...where do I even? You wonder how high they must have been to actually think of this. You actually wonder.I tried so hard to explain this to someone earlier, and I kept sounding like I was making shit up. Literally as though I was pulling random story … Continue reading The artist formerly known as Prairie
Enfield. Not North London
Dir: James Wan 2016 Let's just start with a couple of basics right here right now. Enfield is in EN which therefore means its not in London, can I get there by tube? Is it in zones 1-4? Do they even have Uber? I think we can all agree that anything outside of zone … Continue reading Enfield. Not North London
Simon’s Bullshit
The Gift (2015) Dir: Joel Edgerton When Joel Edgerton sat down and made this film did he literally just think "Hmm....how random and absurd could one plot twist be? Let's find something a bit far fetched, roll with that for a bit, and then, right at the end... lets just fuck shit up completely" Don't … Continue reading Simon’s Bullshit
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