*many spoilers* Pet Sematary (2019) Dir: Kevin Kolsch, Dennis Widmyer Everyone's really pissed about this remake. And under usual circumstances, I would be too. I'm normally a bit of a purist, and utterly detest remakes based on their sheer futility. Does the world even need 10 versions of "A star is born"? No-one knows the … Continue reading Sometimes remakes are better
problems with
CAMPING; part two
The Ritual 2017 Dir: David Bruckner Perhaps i'm a little biased, but Brits are definitely making the best horror movies at the minute. Maybe not the best ever, (after extensive scientific research I've concluded that Koreans make the best ever), but we are getting considerably better. More importantly directors have stopped using stupid british stereotypes and taking the … Continue reading CAMPING; part two
Camping
The idea of a sequel pains me. With the exception of The Godfather and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, I really don't have an overwhelming desire to watch a sequel. Ever. Look at what happened to Paranormal Activities. What started as an incredible film (a film, 1 film, singular), turned into a barrage of annoying … Continue reading Camping
The darkest shade of neon
The Neon Demon (2016) Dir: Nicholas Refn If you were to see this on Netflix, without knowing anything about it, and toyed with the idea of watching it because the visual was cool, and the bloke who did Drive directed it, then don't watch it. Really, don't. I'm not even really sure if Netflix is the … Continue reading The darkest shade of neon
The artist formerly known as Prairie
The OA Creators: Zal Batmanglij, Brit Marling Like...where do I even? You wonder how high they must have been to actually think of this. You actually wonder.I tried so hard to explain this to someone earlier, and I kept sounding like I was making shit up. Literally as though I was pulling random story … Continue reading The artist formerly known as Prairie
Simon’s Bullshit
The Gift (2015) Dir: Joel Edgerton When Joel Edgerton sat down and made this film did he literally just think "Hmm....how random and absurd could one plot twist be? Let's find something a bit far fetched, roll with that for a bit, and then, right at the end... lets just fuck shit up completely" Don't … Continue reading Simon’s Bullshit
Lobster Claw
The Lobster (2015) Dir: Yorgos Lanthimos I've been banging on about this film for weeks because it's very rare I get REALLY excited about something, and basically force everyone around me to watch it like a woman possessed. "Have you seen it yet?" I hissed at my colleagues this morning. I could actually SEE their … Continue reading Lobster Claw
Vice Docs gone wrong
The Sacrament (2013) Dir: Ti West Three flannel wearing, New York hipsters who work for Vice (stay with me), go to the middle of nowhere to find some dude's sister ("Patrick" being dude in question). In short she joined a cult dressed up as a rehab center, found God, and sent her brother a letter … Continue reading Vice Docs gone wrong
Revisited: Orphan
Well...what can I say. Round of applause to the guy that made this. YOU sir, deserve a drink. like...where do I even begin? I've spend the past hour shouting profanities at my laptop and wanting a 9 year old dead so badly (even though she's really 33...we'll get there), that my brain is actually overwhelmed … Continue reading Revisited: Orphan
The Visit….sure
Every now and again comes a director so mind-blowingly overrated you almost feel compelled to hate them just to level out the playing field a bit. Even though not all of them are as evil and self obsessed as say, Christopher Nolan (just picking names out a hat here guys), you've decided by default that … Continue reading The Visit….sure
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