Night of the Living Dead….a night with Nu Goths and other stuff I dont understand

I went out the other night and saw a whole lot of this going on.

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Not that Bjork, the mid-ninetees, or brothel creepers trouble me. Its just I’ve never really seen it all together. On one person.

Heres another example of what I mean

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Do you get it?

I dont get it?

Should I get it?

I always thought goths were goths (im not a goth FYI, I like innapropriate Bodycon and stilettos…gotta keep it classy).

Thats why this scenario really confused me.

The official term is ‘nu-goth’. Alternatively a ‘pastel goth’

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Sometimes a ‘ghetto-goth’

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IM KIDDING….Psych.

seriously though. more like this

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Now heres the funniest part. We were at a UK garage night (to my American friends UK garage is comparable to miami base or chicago house). This does not seem like the ideal breeding ground for goths, hipsters, pastel goths, upside down crosses, or john lennon glasses.

Oh and they played a lot of hip hop

Which is when we started to see a few of these

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And Left

Zombies exist……they exist

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The one where Rick goes Nuts; Episode Re-cap

*Warning-Contains Spoilers*

The first episode of the new season took a bizarre twist, which lead to very conflicted messages as to what would be the fate of the group, and what would happen to some of our key characters after the whole incident at Woodbury. As it currently stands Rick is slowly losing his mind, and needs to find a way of washing his hair before it creates its own eco-system, everyone still hates Andrea and wishes she’d stop wearing combats, and Daryl needs to come back before we gouge our eyes out. With that established we can move on swiftly to what happens in the new episode, which has done a lot to tie up nasty loose ends.

Andrea (die already) is torn between woodbury, getting wood, and potentially going back to the people who actually gave a shit. Despite the heads in the fish tanks and the zombie daughter in the closet Andrea (still) sees the governor as a ‘good guy’ with good intentions and has the obligatory ‘what shall we do to rebuild the community’ chat with him, which feels very much like re-hashed deja vu. The governor tells her that he wants her to guide the community (basically entertaining her power hungry gene so she can keep her nose out of his business) because hes feeling a little ‘crazy’ and needs some time out. She pretends to reluctantly accept her new role, puts her blue combats and boots on, and goes out ball-breaking.

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Meanwhile, Rick is progressively getting worse, hes sweating profusely, getting really shouty at everyone, and generally acting like martin sheen in the intro of apocalypse now. He then seeing apparitions of his dead wife everywhere he turns, (but she has stopped calling him, which is a relief) and spends the morning chasing around her ghost in the fields nearby, thus successfully ignoring his new-born, his son, and the rest of the group. Once again being the leader we have grown to love.

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Whilst all that’s popping off, Daryl realises that his brother Merl is, in actual fact, a flaccid penis, so makes the decison to go back to the prison and be around people he can genuinely trust. Merl realises that hes useless on his own and follows our favourite character back to his original lodgings (i have this whole theory on Merl being really insecure, which is why he has all that rascism and bravado, but i’ll save that for another post). This is all after Daryl promptly saves a newborn, a woman and two grown men from a herd. Like a boss

Glen and Maggie are using their time at the prison as a perfect opportunity to have a domestic. Glen’s super pissed off about being tortured and wants to go back to woodbury and shank the governor. Hershel thinks Glen needs to calm down, and Maggie translates all these things as being about her. Glen further adds fuel to the fire by indirectly asking Maggie what happened at woodbury, and why she was shirtless (well done einstein), which inevitably leads to the most volatile conversation of the season so far.

So

Glen drives off somewhere, The Governor turns up, and all hell breaks loose….

Thankfully the only person who gets hurt in the 10 minute shoot out, is that ginger prisoner who kinda looks like a paedophile that tried it on with Beth (Beth…who’s like 13). So no real harm was done.

Now we have a Prison vs. Woodbury scenario, which will no doubt escalate, and i’m hoping this means Rick will pull his shit together and let Michonne stay, and the new people (the ones Carl found) join the group.

 

And also someone needs to kill Andrea

S

Girls…A show about the walking dead, only they’re not Zombies

So this week i’m doing things a little differently. Rather than talking about Daryl’s potential betrayal, and that interesting situation going on in Rick’s mind, I’m going to discuss the HBO show Girls, because sometimes its nice to mix it up a bit and discuss other things that may trigger a zombie apocalypse.

So Girls, In case anyone hasn’t seen it, is the ‘sex and the city’ Anti-christ; a show about unwashed hipster chicks in New York (ok they wash, but often they wash together, which is gross and doesnt count), who are all in that mid-twenties and have that age-old crisis of  ‘who am I and where am I going?’.

Hannah, main girl, and writer/creator of the show, wanted to paint a ‘realistic’ picture of single white females living in NYC during harsh socio economic times, and reflect the experience of her and her friends. These ‘experiences’ include warehouse raves, potential sexual encounters with employers/older men actual sexual encounters with ex junkies/sociopaths, dancing to Robyn in mismatching underwear, constantly bathing together (please see above), and eating organic food.

I hate this show.

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Maybe I hate Lena Dunham, maybe that’s the real point of conflict, because I do admittedly go back week after week to find out who shagged who, and what Marni does with that dude who sang ‘jizz in my pants’, and will Shoshana (not a real name) ever lose that infantile accent. It intrigues me.

If it was only Hannah, I think I would’ve possibly switched over to ‘Hart of Dixie’ or something else with attractive people, because staring at her tits every fucking week does grow really tiresome. However the other semi-attractive characters and witty jew in the cafe do make up for it. Now why the fuck did I write this post? Ok so yesterday when leaving the gym I bumped into a friend and we discussed this show, and then we discussed zombies, and then I had a eureka moment…… If life was like ‘girls’, and there was a zombie apocalypse, what would happen to humanity? (Que bullets)

  • Technically they all hate themselves. Self loathing yet narcissistic characters tend to like getting themselves into shitty situations. Therefore If Hannah had been on Hershel’s farm, she would’ve gone into the barn, lead her friends into the barn, and consciously killed herself because whats the point of life and all that crap.
  • Theres noone in that group who could actively take Michonne’s role. Therefore you would all be totes fucked.
  • Self loathing characters also have a tendency to not stick together and do things based on a ‘I am my own person’ mythology. Therefore Hannah would be the first person to break apart the group due to her own inconsistencies and selfishness, Marni would’ve been the ‘Lori’ in the group, thus creating further friction, whilst Adam would’ve tried to be radical and got himself bitten within 10 seconds of the apocalypse starting.
  • They all take drugs, which would mean if bath salts were readily available, they would have no issues snorting it up their nostrils, dancing to Brooke candy, and then proceeding to chew someones retina off.
  • They cant cook for shit
  • The group bathing wouldve killed them quicker than the zombies

Man i hate Lena Dunham

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