Girls…A show about the walking dead, only they’re not Zombies

So this week i’m doing things a little differently. Rather than talking about Daryl’s potential betrayal, and that interesting situation going on in Rick’s mind, I’m going to discuss the HBO show Girls, because sometimes its nice to mix it up a bit and discuss other things that may trigger a zombie apocalypse.

So Girls, In case anyone hasn’t seen it, is the ‘sex and the city’ Anti-christ; a show about unwashed hipster chicks in New York (ok they wash, but often they wash together, which is gross and doesnt count), who are all in that mid-twenties and have that age-old crisis of  ‘who am I and where am I going?’.

Hannah, main girl, and writer/creator of the show, wanted to paint a ‘realistic’ picture of single white females living in NYC during harsh socio economic times, and reflect the experience of her and her friends. These ‘experiences’ include warehouse raves, potential sexual encounters with employers/older men actual sexual encounters with ex junkies/sociopaths, dancing to Robyn in mismatching underwear, constantly bathing together (please see above), and eating organic food.

I hate this show.


Maybe I hate Lena Dunham, maybe that’s the real point of conflict, because I do admittedly go back week after week to find out who shagged who, and what Marni does with that dude who sang ‘jizz in my pants’, and will Shoshana (not a real name) ever lose that infantile accent. It intrigues me.

If it was only Hannah, I think I would’ve possibly switched over to ‘Hart of Dixie’ or something else with attractive people, because staring at her tits every fucking week does grow really tiresome. However the other semi-attractive characters and witty jew in the cafe do make up for it. Now why the fuck did I write this post? Ok so yesterday when leaving the gym I bumped into a friend and we discussed this show, and then we discussed zombies, and then I had a eureka moment…… If life was like ‘girls’, and there was a zombie apocalypse, what would happen to humanity? (Que bullets)

  • Technically they all hate themselves. Self loathing yet narcissistic characters tend to like getting themselves into shitty situations. Therefore If Hannah had been on Hershel’s farm, she would’ve gone into the barn, lead her friends into the barn, and consciously killed herself because whats the point of life and all that crap.
  • Theres noone in that group who could actively take Michonne’s role. Therefore you would all be totes fucked.
  • Self loathing characters also have a tendency to not stick together and do things based on a ‘I am my own person’ mythology. Therefore Hannah would be the first person to break apart the group due to her own inconsistencies and selfishness, Marni would’ve been the ‘Lori’ in the group, thus creating further friction, whilst Adam would’ve tried to be radical and got himself bitten within 10 seconds of the apocalypse starting.
  • They all take drugs, which would mean if bath salts were readily available, they would have no issues snorting it up their nostrils, dancing to Brooke candy, and then proceeding to chew someones retina off.
  • They cant cook for shit
  • The group bathing wouldve killed them quicker than the zombies

Man i hate Lena Dunham


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